Losing someone you love is never easy – it’s not supposed to be. You love this person. They were and are a large part of your life. This article is not meant to tell you that the feeling of loss or loneliness will begin to pass in 6 to 12 months. Nor will this post convince you that you’ll soon stop thinking about your loss every moment of every day. Are the two prior statements true? Maybe. But it’s never the same for every person.
What we’d like to do is give you a few suggestions to help cope with your loss whether it’s been hours, months or years. We don’t want you to see your situation as a loss at all. We want to help you think about what you’ve gained in your life because of the moments you were able to share with this loved one. Keeping these special memories close to your heart will help you find a sense of peace. There are truly ways to feel close to someone even if they are not physically with you.
Do you have a favorite spot to share? Don’t cut the special memories out of your life. Did you and your loved one have a special place you visited together? Try revisiting this location with a family member that understands your situation. Prepare yourself for tears (tears can be good) and laughter. Take the time to reminisce the times you and your loved one spent there. Celebrate that you were able to have those moments together when you did.
Talk through your feelings with the person you choose to bring with. Take a moment of silence to understand where you are now and the beautiful memories that you have experienced in the past. Recovery and acceptance will start to occur without you even realizing it.
Is someone else struggling with the same feelings of loss that you are? Get together with this person and exchange happy memories. Don’t want to chat? Sometimes there is no need to talk. Just sit and be around one another. Watch a television show or just relax together. It’s hard to be alone when you’ve experienced a loss. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone. They might be feeling exactly the same way as you.
Was there anything left on your loved ones “list”? Some people find it very helpful to do something that their loved one always wanted to do. Did your wife always want to be in a play, but never got around to it? Pay tribute to your wife’s memory and try out for a play, or volunteer to help at the community playhouse. Once you do something like this completely for this loved one you’ve lost, it will make you feel close to this person again. Remember to appreciate that life is beautiful and everyone has the ability to impact someone else even after they are gone. Perhaps you find that you really enjoy being a volunteer. It could spark a new interest in your life!
Are you getting out of the house regularly? If not, it’s important that you do. Try to get out at least three times a week. You don’t have to forget about your recent loss, but you should start taking time for yourself. There are several things you can do outside the home to help yourself feel better. Consider going for a short walk, go to a friend’s house to socialize, or visit the local library to find a book to help cope.
We know it’s not easy. We know that right now you are feeling scared, alone and heartbroken. Try to stay positive and remember all of the wonderful memories and moments you were able to share with the loved one you lost. When you keep these memories close to your heart, it can help you break through this time of pain. Reach out to others and don’t lock yourself away in the home for too long. Get back to a healthy routine as soon as you can. If you have questions or need help, call your doctor or consider seeing a therapist.
We wish you the very best. Let us know if we can help!
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